Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
