we're making bets on your personal life
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
