He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you never un-have a 4some
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
