i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
God I need to hump something, right now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
