Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
