i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
