YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
