we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
