I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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