Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize