Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
