You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
