i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
did i walk over a car last night?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
