We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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