some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
