my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish you could order shots online.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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