oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i can't believe i had my finger in that
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
