i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
