p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
