STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize