Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
