I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
