found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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