I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
