You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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