Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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