Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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