I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
