You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
