so that wasnt chicken after all
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
