So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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