shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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