wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You were trust falling into bushes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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