Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
