ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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