I want to walk on stilts...naked
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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