so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
