I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
