She just used a chaser for red wine.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We're too hungover to prance.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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