I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
