Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize