More tranny stories later!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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