Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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