idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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