Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
