end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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