This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I would ride that face into the sunset
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
