drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
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