Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
