Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
