For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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