Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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