i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
