I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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