the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
