i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Never joke about your clitoris.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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