Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
