dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
