whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
