goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
