I need help removing her.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
