Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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