three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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