Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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